Waluigious Imagination: The Legend Of Peach

Hello and welcome to another issue of Waluigious Investi... oh, I guess it's "Waluigious Imagination" today. This time, I'll try to construct in my mind a world where Mario used the concept of the Zelda games - one game in particular... Warp Whistle of Time.
In a far, far away land called Mushrule, the tale of a hero is being told. A hero who transcended time itself, who battled infinite evil, and rescued multiple worlds. A plumber named Mario.

The legend tells of an ancient artifact called the Tri-Star, a star that possessed the power to make every wish come true. It contained the power of the three deities: the wisdom of the Party Cube, the courage of the Aurora Block and the power of the Star Rod.

The evil King of Thieves, Bowpa Kooser, tried to find the Tri-Star and use its power to turn the world into a reign of chaos and destruction, and one day, he finally reached his goal - he absorbed the Power part of the Tri-Star, but the other segments scattered. With that immense power, he could mutate to a gigantic turtle monster known as Bowser Koopa. Only the Chosen One could stop him! Plus, that meanie kidnapped Mushrule's Princess Peach, who somehow got the Wisdom part of the Tri-Star!

Far away, in the Forest of Illusion, a plumber without a brother lived. It was a peaceful, serene plumber village - but everyone had a brother, except for him. Sometimes he wondered whether the Great Wise Wisterwood didn't like him as much as the other plumbers.

Yet one day, he awakened to find the Great Wise Wisterwood has sent him his own, personal brother called Luigi! Luigi told him that he, Mario, was the one Mushrule's fate depended onto. Mario needed to take a test before going out into the hostile world outside the village, though - to clean the Wisterwood's insides from evil Piranha Plants and a Buzzy Beetle infestation. With his trusty hammer, he succeeded - but it was too late. The Wisterwood could only tell him to collect three Shine Sprites in order to open the door to the Master Plunger, the ultimate evil-defeating weapon, and give him one of the Sprites.

With courage in his heart (coming from a part of the Tri-Star he somehow obtained in his sleep), Mario set out for Toad Town, with his trusty, but a little annoying "Hey! Listen-a!"-yelling brother in tow. On their way, they met Klepto, a benevolent vulture, and smuggled their way into the castle guarded by stern Toads. After telling Peach of his plan to stop Bowpa Kooser, Mario went to find the next Shine Sprite on Corona Mountain.

The Clefts residing there got a big problem with their edible stone cavern: it was occupied by fiendish Dino Rhinos and Dino Torches! But after defeating the invaders' leader, Reznor, over a sea of lava, Mario obtained the second Shine Sprite.

The last Shine Sprite, belonging to the aquatic Noki people, was only obtainable by entering "Turtle Zone" and drive away the turtle's stomach ache-inducing Leuko colony, but Mario and Luigi managed to do that, too - and afterwards, they went to the Sewers of Time, where the Master Plunger was hidden. On their way, they found a Warp Whistle in a ditch.

As Mario opened the portal and grasped the noble hilt of the weapon, though, he fell into a deep sleep - and as he awoke... he didn't change at all, but Luigi told him 7 years had passed and Bowpa Kooser had taken control over Mushrule! That demanded quick acting!

On his hasty way out, Mario was interrupted by a good-smelling Clubba who told him that the Warp Whistle actually was magical. He also taught Mario a song. Strange.

Mario visited many areas: the Toadwood Forest Temple, the Shrine of Hooktail, the Minus World Temple, the Big Boo's Haunt and Tutankoopa's Pyramid, and even made friends with a Yoshi called Eyoshi.

Every time he approached some important place, though, the Clubba would appear and teach him more songs. Mario asked Luigi what this weirdness was all about, but Luigi only answered: "Watch-a out-a!"

At the end, the Six Sages (Mario's old girlfriend, Saurine, the leader of the Cleft tribe, the princess of the Noki tribe, an ex-commander of the Koopa Troop, Toadsworth and Merlon) built a Rainbow Road to Bowpa Kooser's castle. At that point, Kooser personally appeared and attacked the Clubba who was just about telling Mario who he really was - Princess Peach with a Sneaky Parasol disguise!

Mario was determined to finish Bowpa off, so he stormed the castle and deflected the villain's fireballs at himself with a Piranha Stick. At last, when the enemy fell to the ground, everything seemed over...

...but the castle suddenly began shaking! Peach appeared from nowhere and they tried to leave the castle, but Bowpa had one final trick up his shell - he turned in Bowser Koopa! It was a monster! A nightmare! But Mario beat him too.

And then, he returned and had a light lunch.

But his adventures will never end...

~Waluigious: Everyone who gets all references in this one, I commend you.