Note: I do have a good reason for slacking on delivering this update, I have been desperately getting applications prepared for summer employment. Yes, that infamous Real Life strikes again, unfortunately.
Seeing as the last post is directly underneath this one, there's no need for some dramatic recap. On to Bowser in 1996!
Super Mario-o RPG...it is the only one just for me...ahem. SMRPG needs little introduction. Blending a Mario backdrop with Square's famed RPG-making talents, as well as a healthy dose of humor, and you have one amazing title. One of the biggest eye-catchers to Mario fans is the fact that Mario and Bowser...work together??
Yes, it happens. Bowser in SMRPG has more dialogue than ever before, and he's extremely hard to place. At times he's at the level of "joke villain," stupid and completely unaware, other times he's contemplatively reciting haiku, terrifying enemy troops by sheer presence, and using positive reinforcement to build up his minions. Bowser displays a willingness to get the job done himself in SMRPG, but he's often reduced to sheer blustering. A strange, if humorous role for him, and a sign that the Mario/Bowser conflict was reaching legendary status.
Things took a complete turnaround later that year with Super Mario 64. When considering Bowser's portrayal throughout the 64 era, it occurred to me just how integral music and sound was to shaping the character. In SM64, there are three musical pieces dedicated to the Koopa King. First, Road to Bowser, the suspenseful track that plays in the stages prior to Mario's clashes with Bowser. Perhaps most famous is the track accompanying the first two Bowser battles. Driven by a powerful drum beat, this song really enforces Bowser means business. Finally, a haunting organ piece punctuates the final battle.
Music aside, Bowser's voice really gives him a sense of menace. His trademark laugh is finally given aural representation, and he springs across the arenas while screeching like a cougar. Indeed, Bowser's vocals throughout the 64 era (and Smash Bros. Melee) really foster the image of an inhuman monstrosity. While there wasn't a "true" Mario game through the majority of the 64's lifespan, SM64 reasserted his menacing image as quickly as SMRPG had softened it.
At the very end of the 64 era came Paper Mario. Like SMRPG, it was a somewhat self-referential, humor-driven story. Unlike its spiritual predecessor, Bowser retained his role as primary antagonist. What results is a strange hybrid of the self-parodying Square rendition of the character and SM64's confident menace. Intelligent Systems' Bowser muses on trivial details, occasionally says something dopey, smacks an innocent, defenseless character out of a window, brings the Mushroom Kingdom under siege, and remorselessly leaves Mario for...as close to dead as you're allowed to get in a Mario game (Game Overed?). Not to mention he got another driving theme song that sadly has yet to be reprised. This odd portrayal truly works for the character. While Bowser could come off as a true terror when things were left to the imagination in the 8-bit era, in an age where dialogue and cinematics were coming to the forefront, his inability to really back up his evil reputation (because of the family-friendly nature of the Mario series) made an all-serious Bowser just seem shallow. But inserting self-awareness and a sarcastic streak breathed new life into Mario's arch-nemesis.
Until Super Mario Sunshine proved just how generic a serious villain comes off in a kid-friendly game. Furthermore, going back to my point on sound: Sunshine kicked off a GameCube era that featured a much more cuddly Bowser than his 64 self. Now, maybe he's more cuddly because the polygons he's comprised of no longer threaten to poke eyes out, but the bigger problem-- one that almost anyone who got to Bowser in Sunshine that I've spoken to immediately point out-- is that VOICE.
64 Bowser sounded like a monster. His actual spoken words were left to the imagination, but his roars and laugh (and the "got hit by something" cry originating from Kart 64) truly sound like a beast. Sunshine Bowser sounds like some friendly middle-aged guy trying to come off as vaguely gruff. And this trend continued throughout the remainder of the GameCube era. (Luigi's Mansion and Melee deserve praise for presenting perfectly intimidating takes on Bowser pre-Sunshine).
Unfortunately, the games that portray Bowser as even more of a comical lug than the average Cube sports game belong to a series I otherwise adore. Alphadream's Mario & Luigi titles display writing and accessibility on the level of the Paper Mario games, but their portrayal of Bowser is humiliating to the poor king. He's effortlessly beaten down by Mario and Fawful (two separate occasions) within the game's first ten minutes, captured by a fourth rate boss, gets amnesia and becomes a lackey for the persistent mobster Popple and regains his memory only to be possessed by the temporarily defeated Cackletta.
In Partners in Time, his role is not as large, though he still comes across as an utter moron (failing to recognize his younger self). Still, he and his baby incarnation give the Mario Bros. of past and present a stiff challenge, and after eating the remnants of the Shroob Princess, he manages to break a pretty important RPG rule: allowing the player to attack. Also, Baby Bowser is quite clever and witty in this game, and manages to temporarily steal two Cobalt Star Shards from the Bros. His Koopa Cruiser is also quite a formidable vessel, routing Shroob forces until it runs out of ammo.
Meanwhile, the Paper Mario series offers a lighter take on Bowser as well in Thousand Year Door. Bowser is something of a third force in this game, competing with the X-Nauts and Mario's party to collect Crystal Stars. He has a run of terrible luck here too, but has some impressive moments, such as literally flattening the mighty Rawk Hawk.
Super Paper Mario probably casts Bowser in the most heroic light yet. Still, the reason for it is clearly defined, and while this Bowser is given to stupid blustering, he is clearly physically formidable and is competent (and witty) when he's focused.
Galaxy goes in the complete opposite direction, and I don't think Bowser has ever been more villainous. He assaults the Mushroom Kingdom with an aggressive airship bombardment, blasting citizens (well, freezing them, but still), efficiently abducting the entire castle, and successfully preventing a Mario rescue. Bowser's ambitions are bigger than ever, and the presence of airships throughout the various galaxies really lends weight to the impact of his conquest.
Again, sound plays a major role as Bowser's voice has changed. He no longer speaks audible English, rather "talking" with roars and grunts, which are much more guttural and less human than the GameCube era. The battle theme is accompanied by a choir at points, really heightening the ominous nature of the encounter. Road to Bowser makes a return from Mario 64 as well.
I'm really fond of both of Bowser's 2007 appearances, but it's extremely difficult to reconcile the two. I still feel the original Paper Mario offers the best take on the character, self-aware of his long history as a menace, a serious threat, but at times sarcastic and at other times a bit of a doofus (you have to be to line your battle arenas with axes or bombs you don't intend to use). Where Bowser will head next is anyone's guess, but it appears Mario & Luigi 3 is up to bat next, and I hope a playable Bowser points to a slightly more competent one than the game's predecessors.
~Waluigious: Here's to future villainy, Bowser, be it goofy or menacing.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The One About Villainy (Pt. 1)
Note: Apologies for the infrequent posting on my part. School and the consideration of jobs/internships to apply for have kept me busy for a while. But with a slight lull this weekend (and the demise of some wolverines...) I'm feeling enthused enough to write again.
Creating a long-running video game villain is a highly difficult task. By nature, the villain must eventually lose to the hero, and in action-oriented games, that typically requires a gameplay mechanic that comes off as a serious lack of tactical intelligence. And for a villain to gain real notoriety, he/she must appear multiple times, but each appearance will feature another victory by the hero, making the villain appear less and less threatening over time. Villains like King Dedede have steered into this curve by becoming something of a deliberate joke after his initial appearance (despite the fact his first appearance has him stealing all of his people's food AND their means of gathering it, one of the greatest acts of cruelty I've seen in a game). Ganon (as well as Mother Brain) staves off this cheapening by making relatively few appearances, with his absence actually ENHANCING his overall sense of menace in games like Link's Awakening (where a Nightmare takes up the form of both Ganon and his alter-ego Agahnim) and Zelda 2 (where Link's death results in Ganon's return to power, and a creepy silhouette).
Then we have Mario's persistent archnemesis. How does Bowser measure up in villainous terms? Read on...
Obviously, when Bowser debuted in Super Mario Bros. methods of characterization were limited. It was up to the level design, music and gameplay to create impressions of SMB's characters. Of course, SMB is relatively unique in that Bowser turned the Mushroom Kingdom's citizens into the various objects around the land, so he essentially designed the game's levels himself. But you truly get a sense of his evil when you enter his castle. Cold gray stone, black background, and fiery red lava, backed with the game's only real ominous song, create an almost hellish backdrop. And the way Bowser builds anticipation of the confrontation with his far-traveling fireballs was a stroke of genius on part of the devlopers: both ramping up the stage's climax and creating a testament to Bowser's power: He's tormenting you from offscreen.
Of course, the actual boss fights with Bowser (and yes, only one of them is the real Bowser, but you get the idea) is a highly varying affair. Oftentimes it's an effortless win, sometimes it's a complete roadblock. As has been discussed to death, keeping a golden axe on a bridge you're standing on with no intent to use it yourself is stupid, but like I said above, boss stupidity has been a necessity, and this is a very early instance, so I'll let it slide. Overall, Super Mario Bros. paints Bowser as a malevolent demonic being (appropriate, as his full Japanese title: Koopa Daimaou, translates to something like "Great Demon King Koopa").
The Lost Levels (or "real SMB2" or whatever you wanna call it) really doesn't add anything new to his character, though again considering his magic made the levels and he placed the troops, the game demonstrates a nasty sadistic streak. And he shows the intelligence to stage some confrontations away from lava pits and obvious means of dropping him in.
SMB3 has Bowser launch his third fully successful takeover, which also extends to surrounding kingdoms, displaying a real streak of competence at large-scale invasion. While most people dismiss SMB3 as the "same old plot," they forget that Peach isn't kidnapped for the majority of the game, and that occurs as a "twist" at the end of World 7 (yes, it's as easy to see coming as the fact that Dr. Wily's Mr. X, but this is a late '80s game and a platformer. Either one is an acceptable excuse for thinner plots than this). Bowser displays his first in-game means of language, sending the Bros. a threatening letter (in which he addresses them with a "Yo!"). Aside from the casual opening, he's still all nasty here. And World 8 proves it. The map screen again has strong allusions to hell, with total darkness, skulls, fire and a bridge with massive hands that drag the Bros. out of sight! He also displays a formidable military force, with fleets of airships, "not-air" ships and tanks, accompanied by a stirring infamous march.
The final confrontation (again preceded by a fireball barrage) has increased the Koopa King's size, and decreased the stupidity. He displays a lot of agility here, and is truly a formidable opponent. The NES era ends with Bowser a genuine, menacing threat.
And the SNES era opens in much the same way. Mario World has a cool way of building suspense for the Bowser encounter, with certain stages of other worlds "peeking" into the map screen of Valley of Bowser. His plot is sort of vague here, but he does continue his impressive conquering streak. Of course, this game is the first appearance of the Clown Copter, which most fans will say takes his evil image down a peg. But the thing has a twisted sort of creepiness to it, and when it gets angry in the last phase of the battle...(shudders). The final fight may not be as robust as SMB3's throwdown, but Bowser extends his streak of serious villainy into a sixth year.
And promptly ends it with an appearance in Super Mario Kart. Still, Mario and friends had been established as appearing in "side games" even by this point, and a plotless racing game does little to harm any characters' reputations. And it was cool to reprise Mario World's final battle theme for the Bowser's Castle courses.
After that, there was a streak of quirky games. I admit to not having played Mario is Missing or Mario's Time Machine (or Hotel Mario), but at least Bowser got to add the kidnap of his archrival to his record.
In Yoshi's Safari, he brings Jewelry Land to its knees (hey, have YOU conquered a kingdom, let alone three major nations so far? Let's not mock his choice). Shows a bit of forethought: Conquer a place that NAMED ITSELF after its apparent wealth. Unfortunately, while Mario and Yoshi are willing to slug it out in a sportsmanlike manner for the MK or Yoshi's Island, they apparently didn't feel like putting their lives on the line for a place named after sparkling rocks. Bowser's troops were decimated by an automatic plasma assault rifle, though he put up a valiant effort with a cool robot suit. He and his kids' surrendering policy in this game is kind of a lame step down, though.
Yoshi's Island lets us look into Bowser's life as a tot, where Kamek apparently handled administrative duties (where his parents were, we don't know). Seeing a nasty villain as a child is usually a reliable way to slaughter their reputation, but Bowser comes out of this one alright. The battle with a Godzillian Baby Bowser (complete with blank white eyes) is still one of my most memorable moments in over fifteen years of gaming, and he lost not out of stupidity, but giant eggs, courtesy of deus ex machina express. Those suckers are powerful! Throwing one at the ground will wipe out any enemy in sight. Giant Bowser can take them anywhere but the face and not even flinch.
For the first ten years of his career, Bowser has displayed an impressive penchant for conquering nations, a vast military and formidable one-on-one combat prowess. There were a couple speed bumps in the early '90s, but Bowser sat comfortably on his throne of malice throughout the NES and most of the SNES era. How did the Koopa King fare in the late '90s? Find out next time (or surf the Web/your memories if you don't want to hear it from my perspective)!
~Waluigious: He who koops, then runs away...
Creating a long-running video game villain is a highly difficult task. By nature, the villain must eventually lose to the hero, and in action-oriented games, that typically requires a gameplay mechanic that comes off as a serious lack of tactical intelligence. And for a villain to gain real notoriety, he/she must appear multiple times, but each appearance will feature another victory by the hero, making the villain appear less and less threatening over time. Villains like King Dedede have steered into this curve by becoming something of a deliberate joke after his initial appearance (despite the fact his first appearance has him stealing all of his people's food AND their means of gathering it, one of the greatest acts of cruelty I've seen in a game). Ganon (as well as Mother Brain) staves off this cheapening by making relatively few appearances, with his absence actually ENHANCING his overall sense of menace in games like Link's Awakening (where a Nightmare takes up the form of both Ganon and his alter-ego Agahnim) and Zelda 2 (where Link's death results in Ganon's return to power, and a creepy silhouette).
Then we have Mario's persistent archnemesis. How does Bowser measure up in villainous terms? Read on...
Obviously, when Bowser debuted in Super Mario Bros. methods of characterization were limited. It was up to the level design, music and gameplay to create impressions of SMB's characters. Of course, SMB is relatively unique in that Bowser turned the Mushroom Kingdom's citizens into the various objects around the land, so he essentially designed the game's levels himself. But you truly get a sense of his evil when you enter his castle. Cold gray stone, black background, and fiery red lava, backed with the game's only real ominous song, create an almost hellish backdrop. And the way Bowser builds anticipation of the confrontation with his far-traveling fireballs was a stroke of genius on part of the devlopers: both ramping up the stage's climax and creating a testament to Bowser's power: He's tormenting you from offscreen.
Of course, the actual boss fights with Bowser (and yes, only one of them is the real Bowser, but you get the idea) is a highly varying affair. Oftentimes it's an effortless win, sometimes it's a complete roadblock. As has been discussed to death, keeping a golden axe on a bridge you're standing on with no intent to use it yourself is stupid, but like I said above, boss stupidity has been a necessity, and this is a very early instance, so I'll let it slide. Overall, Super Mario Bros. paints Bowser as a malevolent demonic being (appropriate, as his full Japanese title: Koopa Daimaou, translates to something like "Great Demon King Koopa").
The Lost Levels (or "real SMB2" or whatever you wanna call it) really doesn't add anything new to his character, though again considering his magic made the levels and he placed the troops, the game demonstrates a nasty sadistic streak. And he shows the intelligence to stage some confrontations away from lava pits and obvious means of dropping him in.
SMB3 has Bowser launch his third fully successful takeover, which also extends to surrounding kingdoms, displaying a real streak of competence at large-scale invasion. While most people dismiss SMB3 as the "same old plot," they forget that Peach isn't kidnapped for the majority of the game, and that occurs as a "twist" at the end of World 7 (yes, it's as easy to see coming as the fact that Dr. Wily's Mr. X, but this is a late '80s game and a platformer. Either one is an acceptable excuse for thinner plots than this). Bowser displays his first in-game means of language, sending the Bros. a threatening letter (in which he addresses them with a "Yo!"). Aside from the casual opening, he's still all nasty here. And World 8 proves it. The map screen again has strong allusions to hell, with total darkness, skulls, fire and a bridge with massive hands that drag the Bros. out of sight! He also displays a formidable military force, with fleets of airships, "not-air" ships and tanks, accompanied by a stirring infamous march.
The final confrontation (again preceded by a fireball barrage) has increased the Koopa King's size, and decreased the stupidity. He displays a lot of agility here, and is truly a formidable opponent. The NES era ends with Bowser a genuine, menacing threat.
And the SNES era opens in much the same way. Mario World has a cool way of building suspense for the Bowser encounter, with certain stages of other worlds "peeking" into the map screen of Valley of Bowser. His plot is sort of vague here, but he does continue his impressive conquering streak. Of course, this game is the first appearance of the Clown Copter, which most fans will say takes his evil image down a peg. But the thing has a twisted sort of creepiness to it, and when it gets angry in the last phase of the battle...(shudders). The final fight may not be as robust as SMB3's throwdown, but Bowser extends his streak of serious villainy into a sixth year.
And promptly ends it with an appearance in Super Mario Kart. Still, Mario and friends had been established as appearing in "side games" even by this point, and a plotless racing game does little to harm any characters' reputations. And it was cool to reprise Mario World's final battle theme for the Bowser's Castle courses.
After that, there was a streak of quirky games. I admit to not having played Mario is Missing or Mario's Time Machine (or Hotel Mario), but at least Bowser got to add the kidnap of his archrival to his record.
In Yoshi's Safari, he brings Jewelry Land to its knees (hey, have YOU conquered a kingdom, let alone three major nations so far? Let's not mock his choice). Shows a bit of forethought: Conquer a place that NAMED ITSELF after its apparent wealth. Unfortunately, while Mario and Yoshi are willing to slug it out in a sportsmanlike manner for the MK or Yoshi's Island, they apparently didn't feel like putting their lives on the line for a place named after sparkling rocks. Bowser's troops were decimated by an automatic plasma assault rifle, though he put up a valiant effort with a cool robot suit. He and his kids' surrendering policy in this game is kind of a lame step down, though.
Yoshi's Island lets us look into Bowser's life as a tot, where Kamek apparently handled administrative duties (where his parents were, we don't know). Seeing a nasty villain as a child is usually a reliable way to slaughter their reputation, but Bowser comes out of this one alright. The battle with a Godzillian Baby Bowser (complete with blank white eyes) is still one of my most memorable moments in over fifteen years of gaming, and he lost not out of stupidity, but giant eggs, courtesy of deus ex machina express. Those suckers are powerful! Throwing one at the ground will wipe out any enemy in sight. Giant Bowser can take them anywhere but the face and not even flinch.
For the first ten years of his career, Bowser has displayed an impressive penchant for conquering nations, a vast military and formidable one-on-one combat prowess. There were a couple speed bumps in the early '90s, but Bowser sat comfortably on his throne of malice throughout the NES and most of the SNES era. How did the Koopa King fare in the late '90s? Find out next time (or surf the Web/your memories if you don't want to hear it from my perspective)!
~Waluigious: He who koops, then runs away...
Friday, October 10, 2008
The One About Bowser Jr.
Note: I HAVE made contact with our fearless leader. It seems he's been hassled by a lot as of late, with which I can sympathize. Entries certainly won't be at their height, but I'll try to give you guys something to read/talk about in the meantime.
Ah, Bowser Jr. When he first surfaced in Super Mario Sunshine, he was met with so much hate from the fanbase. But the bile gradually declined, and I see more and more people saying he's kind of cool, or otherwise explaining how he's grown on them. Now, I do not endorse embracing fanboyish rage or anything, but I would just like to calmly explain WHY I, as an old-time Mario fan, find Bowser Jr. extremely unappealing. I may be preaching to the choir here, but hopefully there's a couple Jr. fans surfing the Net so we can get some interesting discussion out of this.
Jr.'s first offense: adding to the Baby Bowser/Koopa Kid mess.
Gamers were introduced to Baby Bowser, as well as the Baby Mario Bros, in 1995's Yoshi's Island. Here, it's perfectly clear why they're babies: the game takes place in the past. But lingering on Yoshi's Island too long has reduced me to feverish praise and drooling, incoherent rants in the past, so let's move on. We can assume the same is true in Yoshi's Story, though they're really not explicit about that, and as it is a new generation of Yoshies, with no sign of Baby Mario, this COULD theoretically be a Bowser Jr. appearance. But seeing as it's a sequel to Island (as much as Nintendo tries to deny that now), I doubt it.
Then the Mario Party series really starts messin' things up by introducing a different Baby Bowser: apparently one of many identical tykes that co-exist with the adult Bowser. They do not explicitly refer to them as Bowser's son, and particular items can transform them into Bowser. Baby Mario ignored the small paradox of being the same person as his adult self in Mario Golf, so was Bowser doing that here? Or are these just members of a class of minions with a very disturbing fixation on their boss? Given the fact that half the Mario Parties end up being a play or something anyway (I quit when the series left the 64, so I don't know how later installments are framed), I don't think it really matters. The Cube era helped a little by rebranding them "Koopa Kids" and assigning multiple versions individual colors, which seemed to point to the "unhealthily obsessed minion" category. Aside from showcasing some incredible laziness in character design, Koopa Kid is now free of this mess.
Then along comes Bowser Jr. While Sunshine makes his father/son relationship with Bowser explicitly clear, a lot of people didn't play Sunshine. Thus, seeing him alongside Baby Mario and Baby Luigi (and Peach, and Daisy, and who knows who else in the future) in various sports games, they assume Bowser is doing the whole time-warp thing as well.
Then Alphadream, of all companies, contributes to this tangle by redesigning Baby Bowser (Bowser as a kid, from the past) to look and sound identical to Jr! Argh!
For sorting-out purposes:
Baby Bowser (Yoshi's Island series, Partners in Time): Bowser as a baby
Koopa Kid (formerly Baby Bowser, Mario Party series): palette-swapped sickos
Bowser Jr. (Mario Sunshine, every Mario sports game since): Bowser's son
Koopalings (aka Koopa Kids, but not the Party ones. Nothing in this decade aside from Superstar Saga): Bowser's OTHER kids
Second offense: upstaging the Koopalings
This seems to be the hardest one for newer fans to understand. And honestly, SMB2 and Yoshi's Island have much cooler bosses than the games the Koopalings featured in. But it's just the fact that the Koopalings were seven of eight bosses in both Super Mario Bros. 3 AND Super Mario World. Aside from the wondrous Yoshi's Island, those are my personal "big guns" of the Mario series. Being an icon in either one makes you immortal (hence why we remember Kuribo's Shoe to this day), but both? That is a seriously impressive resume.
Which would make you think they'd have an easier time finding work afterward. They snapped up some roles in Yoshi's Safari and Mario is Missing, but then dropped completely off the map. And when Bowser Jr. appeared in Sunshine, I just had this feeling: Bowser had disowned his first batch of kids.
Alphadream gets credit for bringing them back for one last hurrah in the original Mario & Luigi, but non-speaking mini-boss roles is hardly satisfying for the star villains of the 2nd and 3rd best Mario games of all time. Now, to be fair, the Koopalings had been absent nearly ten years by the time Bowser Jr. even showed up, but he, along with the multiple "Koopa Kids" of Mario Party, just rubbed it in our faces that Nintendo never intends for them to amount to anything again.
I'm not gonna pretend they had personality- any hint of characterization fans attribute to them comes from the cartoons. And even their fighting styles were derivative of each other's. But even so, in the late 80s/early 90s, Nintendo comes up with seven children of Bowser, each looking different from the rest and their father, and come up with four unique fighting styles between them (in each game). Quite the step up from SMB and Lost Levels, and considerably superior to Mario Party's palette swaps and Bowser Jr.'s status as a clone of his father's baby self. Mario Party's dismissable, but you have ONE major villain to introduce in the GameCube's only Mario platformer, and you can't even come near the effort put into an 8-bit game as old as I am? That's not even a matter of preferring the Koopalings, Bowser Jr. just epitomizes lazy character design.
But aside from his lackluster roots, I can kind of understand him being chosen over his much older siblings for the various sports games: as a developer, you could only fit a Koopaling or two in (because you've gotta make room for Baby Peach and Baby Wario and Baby Petey and Baby King Boo), and it would probably be unnecessarily divisive of the old-school fans to reject their favorite. Well, I don't think that'd be quite as bad as alienating ALL the old-school fans with a character that serves THE EXACT SAME PURPOSE in a more generic way, but still, this is passable.
But let's look at New Super Mario Bros. As anyone who played it, or even looked into the game post-release, would know, the game draws just as much from SMB3, SMW, and even SM64 as it does from SMB1. So, foolishly, I got my hopes up for Koopalings. I was also psyched for Yoshi, but that was quashed early on by an interview declaring Yoshi was too recent and "doesn't fit." I do have to call total BS on a game with Red Coins, Unagi the Eel and Petey Pirahna rejecting one of the primary elements of 1991's Super Mario World, but that's neither here nor there. More to the point, as anyone who's played it knows, there are no Koopalings in NSMB. Rather, Bowser Jr. takes a decisive role. And the "only one character slot" excuse isn't gonna fly here: you face Bowser Jr. no less than TEN TIMES in NSMB. And the battles have exactly one variation: later ones force you to throw a shell at him in order to topple him.
So in this game that is way too old-school for Yoshi (that guy's from the NINETIES!) we pass up the villains of SMB3 (1988) in favor of the one from Sunshine (2002)? And NSMB even takes away the "you're just being nostalgic" guilt from my argument, because from every objective sense, the Koopaling boss battles (in SMB3 OR SMW) are superior to the Bowser Jr. ones. Any thoughts that they were cutting corners when they reused 3 fighting styles in both of those games were purged when I realized Bowser Jr. couldn't even offer that many in NSMB.
Galaxy is less offensive objectively, because there's once again only need for one minion, but it does unnecessarily oppose my nostalgic self. Seeing Bowser Jr. riding an airship, battling your way across a fleet to do battle with him and a posse of Magikoopas and Koopa Troopas, and picturing Ludwig or Wendy in that spot...somewhere inside me, a five-year-old boy is crying.
To me, this really comes down to a personal quibble I have with all forms of fiction: change for the sake of change. More particularly: look at the NEW character, and watch how we explicitly demonstrate his COOLNESS at the expense of the old one (who fulfilled a completely identical purpose). The Mario series is guilty of this in a few cases, but this is the one that hits home for me.
Again, I'm really well past the point where this causes me actual anger or grief (I was 14 when Sunshine came out, and I admit I was truly upset then), and the capitalizations are for emphasis only, not enraged yells. But hey, I write for a Mario blog, so I figured it's a chance to really throw these opinions out there.
~Waluigious: Jungle Beat makes me shake my head too. A stocky hoofed mammal buddy that plows through enemies with horns that ISN'T Rambi? Really?
Ah, Bowser Jr. When he first surfaced in Super Mario Sunshine, he was met with so much hate from the fanbase. But the bile gradually declined, and I see more and more people saying he's kind of cool, or otherwise explaining how he's grown on them. Now, I do not endorse embracing fanboyish rage or anything, but I would just like to calmly explain WHY I, as an old-time Mario fan, find Bowser Jr. extremely unappealing. I may be preaching to the choir here, but hopefully there's a couple Jr. fans surfing the Net so we can get some interesting discussion out of this.
Jr.'s first offense: adding to the Baby Bowser/Koopa Kid mess.
Gamers were introduced to Baby Bowser, as well as the Baby Mario Bros, in 1995's Yoshi's Island. Here, it's perfectly clear why they're babies: the game takes place in the past. But lingering on Yoshi's Island too long has reduced me to feverish praise and drooling, incoherent rants in the past, so let's move on. We can assume the same is true in Yoshi's Story, though they're really not explicit about that, and as it is a new generation of Yoshies, with no sign of Baby Mario, this COULD theoretically be a Bowser Jr. appearance. But seeing as it's a sequel to Island (as much as Nintendo tries to deny that now), I doubt it.
Then the Mario Party series really starts messin' things up by introducing a different Baby Bowser: apparently one of many identical tykes that co-exist with the adult Bowser. They do not explicitly refer to them as Bowser's son, and particular items can transform them into Bowser. Baby Mario ignored the small paradox of being the same person as his adult self in Mario Golf, so was Bowser doing that here? Or are these just members of a class of minions with a very disturbing fixation on their boss? Given the fact that half the Mario Parties end up being a play or something anyway (I quit when the series left the 64, so I don't know how later installments are framed), I don't think it really matters. The Cube era helped a little by rebranding them "Koopa Kids" and assigning multiple versions individual colors, which seemed to point to the "unhealthily obsessed minion" category. Aside from showcasing some incredible laziness in character design, Koopa Kid is now free of this mess.
Then along comes Bowser Jr. While Sunshine makes his father/son relationship with Bowser explicitly clear, a lot of people didn't play Sunshine. Thus, seeing him alongside Baby Mario and Baby Luigi (and Peach, and Daisy, and who knows who else in the future) in various sports games, they assume Bowser is doing the whole time-warp thing as well.
Then Alphadream, of all companies, contributes to this tangle by redesigning Baby Bowser (Bowser as a kid, from the past) to look and sound identical to Jr! Argh!
For sorting-out purposes:
Baby Bowser (Yoshi's Island series, Partners in Time): Bowser as a baby
Koopa Kid (formerly Baby Bowser, Mario Party series): palette-swapped sickos
Bowser Jr. (Mario Sunshine, every Mario sports game since): Bowser's son
Koopalings (aka Koopa Kids, but not the Party ones. Nothing in this decade aside from Superstar Saga): Bowser's OTHER kids
Second offense: upstaging the Koopalings
This seems to be the hardest one for newer fans to understand. And honestly, SMB2 and Yoshi's Island have much cooler bosses than the games the Koopalings featured in. But it's just the fact that the Koopalings were seven of eight bosses in both Super Mario Bros. 3 AND Super Mario World. Aside from the wondrous Yoshi's Island, those are my personal "big guns" of the Mario series. Being an icon in either one makes you immortal (hence why we remember Kuribo's Shoe to this day), but both? That is a seriously impressive resume.
Which would make you think they'd have an easier time finding work afterward. They snapped up some roles in Yoshi's Safari and Mario is Missing, but then dropped completely off the map. And when Bowser Jr. appeared in Sunshine, I just had this feeling: Bowser had disowned his first batch of kids.
Alphadream gets credit for bringing them back for one last hurrah in the original Mario & Luigi, but non-speaking mini-boss roles is hardly satisfying for the star villains of the 2nd and 3rd best Mario games of all time. Now, to be fair, the Koopalings had been absent nearly ten years by the time Bowser Jr. even showed up, but he, along with the multiple "Koopa Kids" of Mario Party, just rubbed it in our faces that Nintendo never intends for them to amount to anything again.
I'm not gonna pretend they had personality- any hint of characterization fans attribute to them comes from the cartoons. And even their fighting styles were derivative of each other's. But even so, in the late 80s/early 90s, Nintendo comes up with seven children of Bowser, each looking different from the rest and their father, and come up with four unique fighting styles between them (in each game). Quite the step up from SMB and Lost Levels, and considerably superior to Mario Party's palette swaps and Bowser Jr.'s status as a clone of his father's baby self. Mario Party's dismissable, but you have ONE major villain to introduce in the GameCube's only Mario platformer, and you can't even come near the effort put into an 8-bit game as old as I am? That's not even a matter of preferring the Koopalings, Bowser Jr. just epitomizes lazy character design.
But aside from his lackluster roots, I can kind of understand him being chosen over his much older siblings for the various sports games: as a developer, you could only fit a Koopaling or two in (because you've gotta make room for Baby Peach and Baby Wario and Baby Petey and Baby King Boo), and it would probably be unnecessarily divisive of the old-school fans to reject their favorite. Well, I don't think that'd be quite as bad as alienating ALL the old-school fans with a character that serves THE EXACT SAME PURPOSE in a more generic way, but still, this is passable.
But let's look at New Super Mario Bros. As anyone who played it, or even looked into the game post-release, would know, the game draws just as much from SMB3, SMW, and even SM64 as it does from SMB1. So, foolishly, I got my hopes up for Koopalings. I was also psyched for Yoshi, but that was quashed early on by an interview declaring Yoshi was too recent and "doesn't fit." I do have to call total BS on a game with Red Coins, Unagi the Eel and Petey Pirahna rejecting one of the primary elements of 1991's Super Mario World, but that's neither here nor there. More to the point, as anyone who's played it knows, there are no Koopalings in NSMB. Rather, Bowser Jr. takes a decisive role. And the "only one character slot" excuse isn't gonna fly here: you face Bowser Jr. no less than TEN TIMES in NSMB. And the battles have exactly one variation: later ones force you to throw a shell at him in order to topple him.
So in this game that is way too old-school for Yoshi (that guy's from the NINETIES!) we pass up the villains of SMB3 (1988) in favor of the one from Sunshine (2002)? And NSMB even takes away the "you're just being nostalgic" guilt from my argument, because from every objective sense, the Koopaling boss battles (in SMB3 OR SMW) are superior to the Bowser Jr. ones. Any thoughts that they were cutting corners when they reused 3 fighting styles in both of those games were purged when I realized Bowser Jr. couldn't even offer that many in NSMB.
Galaxy is less offensive objectively, because there's once again only need for one minion, but it does unnecessarily oppose my nostalgic self. Seeing Bowser Jr. riding an airship, battling your way across a fleet to do battle with him and a posse of Magikoopas and Koopa Troopas, and picturing Ludwig or Wendy in that spot...somewhere inside me, a five-year-old boy is crying.
To me, this really comes down to a personal quibble I have with all forms of fiction: change for the sake of change. More particularly: look at the NEW character, and watch how we explicitly demonstrate his COOLNESS at the expense of the old one (who fulfilled a completely identical purpose). The Mario series is guilty of this in a few cases, but this is the one that hits home for me.
Again, I'm really well past the point where this causes me actual anger or grief (I was 14 when Sunshine came out, and I admit I was truly upset then), and the capitalizations are for emphasis only, not enraged yells. But hey, I write for a Mario blog, so I figured it's a chance to really throw these opinions out there.
~Waluigious: Jungle Beat makes me shake my head too. A stocky hoofed mammal buddy that plows through enemies with horns that ISN'T Rambi? Really?
Monday, October 6, 2008
The One About Housekeeping
Well, things sure are quiet around here, aren't they? In the meantime, let's talk new releases.
I don't know why the Nintendo fan community are harping on for Mario, Metroid, Zelda. Didn't we just get a triple shot of Nintendo's trinity within the past couple years? Considering there has never been more than two "main" entries in any of their franchises for a single console (barring Mario on the NES), I don't know what the rush is.
In any event, I have NOT gotten the opportunity to play Wario Land: Shake It! Word from my friend is "boring and disappointing," and he's a diehard Wario Land defender. Mega Man 9, however, is more polished than I could have hoped (still painfully difficult at first), so if you want an old-school challenge, slap down the 1000 Wii Points right now. And get rid of 200 of those pesky leftover points to download Mega Man's whistling bro, Proto Man. Party like it's 1988!
Or 1996, because upon playing Kirby Super Star Ultra, I have to revise my earlier statement. Owning the original cartridge is NOT an excuse to pass on this game. The new content is better than I could have hoped, especially if you're like me and loved rushing the Arena with various abilities. And the game's extensive Mario cameos have been updated! A golden Mario statue is still one of Kirby's Stone forms, but in Ultra, he can also become a classic brick block! The infamous mirrored crowd of the mini-game Megaton Punch still features a pair of Marios, Luigis, Toads and Birdos. But the crowd in the battle with King Dedede is no longer mirrored and adds Wario and Peach to the spectators. Kirby still collects various Nintendo-themed treasures in the Great Cave Offensive. The Turtle Shell of old is more accurately labeled a Koopa Shell, Kong's Barrel now has the DK logo on it, and the formerly unrelated Zebra Mask has become the Phanto Mask.
Speaking of Mario cameos, one of the most exciting games announced this past week was a brand new Punch-Out!! The NES title featured one of Mario's earliest "random" cameos, as he was the game's highly biased referee (sure, stop the 10-count the instant the opponent begins to twitch, but I have to be standing fully upright to get you to shut up). It is also a highly unique and entertaining game in its own right, surpassing its arcade predecessors and SNES follow-up in gameplay and presentation. The Wii game wisely looks to be taking its inspiration from the NES classic. Hilarious ethnic stereotypes look to be here to stay, with French pushover Glass Joe going down with a spray of croissants and Pacific islander King Hippo's head surrounded by pineapples when he's stunned. Here's hoping for other mainstays like Bald Bull and Vodka Drunkenski (or the even more amusing censored version: Soda Popinski), as well as Mario's return to the referee position.
Okay, enough trying to encourage broadened horizons. Of more direct pertinence to Mario fans is the announcement of the third Mario & Luigi game. Before Galaxy proved to me Nintendo Tokyo has in fact played more Mario games than SMB, 64 and Sunshine, there were only two companies I trusted to really "get" Mario lore. One was Intelligent Systems (maker of PM), and the other was M&L creator Alphadream. While many were disappointed by Partners in Time, I love the game (but then, Yoshi's Island is my favorite game of all time, so PiT's numerous references to it gives it a nostalgic edge), and Alphadream has my full confidence for the third go-round. The most exciting news (to me) is what appears to be a playable Bowser, who utilizes minions both in battle and for puzzle-solving. I trust Alphadream to go beyond Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and Bloopers and put some underappreciated drones to work here. I also hope this gives Bowser a bit more clout, as one of my only problems with the first two games is Bowser's inherent...wimpiness (either as an ally or foe).
I'm not sure where my fellow writers have gone, but stay tuned, Mario fans! Next time you hear from me, we'll have less news-ing and more philosophizing (and maybe some making fun of Super Mario Land).
~Waluigious: There's also about 37 music games on the way, but still no sign of the highly-demanded sequel to Mario Paint.
I don't know why the Nintendo fan community are harping on for Mario, Metroid, Zelda. Didn't we just get a triple shot of Nintendo's trinity within the past couple years? Considering there has never been more than two "main" entries in any of their franchises for a single console (barring Mario on the NES), I don't know what the rush is.
In any event, I have NOT gotten the opportunity to play Wario Land: Shake It! Word from my friend is "boring and disappointing," and he's a diehard Wario Land defender. Mega Man 9, however, is more polished than I could have hoped (still painfully difficult at first), so if you want an old-school challenge, slap down the 1000 Wii Points right now. And get rid of 200 of those pesky leftover points to download Mega Man's whistling bro, Proto Man. Party like it's 1988!
Or 1996, because upon playing Kirby Super Star Ultra, I have to revise my earlier statement. Owning the original cartridge is NOT an excuse to pass on this game. The new content is better than I could have hoped, especially if you're like me and loved rushing the Arena with various abilities. And the game's extensive Mario cameos have been updated! A golden Mario statue is still one of Kirby's Stone forms, but in Ultra, he can also become a classic brick block! The infamous mirrored crowd of the mini-game Megaton Punch still features a pair of Marios, Luigis, Toads and Birdos. But the crowd in the battle with King Dedede is no longer mirrored and adds Wario and Peach to the spectators. Kirby still collects various Nintendo-themed treasures in the Great Cave Offensive. The Turtle Shell of old is more accurately labeled a Koopa Shell, Kong's Barrel now has the DK logo on it, and the formerly unrelated Zebra Mask has become the Phanto Mask.
Speaking of Mario cameos, one of the most exciting games announced this past week was a brand new Punch-Out!! The NES title featured one of Mario's earliest "random" cameos, as he was the game's highly biased referee (sure, stop the 10-count the instant the opponent begins to twitch, but I have to be standing fully upright to get you to shut up). It is also a highly unique and entertaining game in its own right, surpassing its arcade predecessors and SNES follow-up in gameplay and presentation. The Wii game wisely looks to be taking its inspiration from the NES classic. Hilarious ethnic stereotypes look to be here to stay, with French pushover Glass Joe going down with a spray of croissants and Pacific islander King Hippo's head surrounded by pineapples when he's stunned. Here's hoping for other mainstays like Bald Bull and Vodka Drunkenski (or the even more amusing censored version: Soda Popinski), as well as Mario's return to the referee position.
Okay, enough trying to encourage broadened horizons. Of more direct pertinence to Mario fans is the announcement of the third Mario & Luigi game. Before Galaxy proved to me Nintendo Tokyo has in fact played more Mario games than SMB, 64 and Sunshine, there were only two companies I trusted to really "get" Mario lore. One was Intelligent Systems (maker of PM), and the other was M&L creator Alphadream. While many were disappointed by Partners in Time, I love the game (but then, Yoshi's Island is my favorite game of all time, so PiT's numerous references to it gives it a nostalgic edge), and Alphadream has my full confidence for the third go-round. The most exciting news (to me) is what appears to be a playable Bowser, who utilizes minions both in battle and for puzzle-solving. I trust Alphadream to go beyond Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and Bloopers and put some underappreciated drones to work here. I also hope this gives Bowser a bit more clout, as one of my only problems with the first two games is Bowser's inherent...wimpiness (either as an ally or foe).
I'm not sure where my fellow writers have gone, but stay tuned, Mario fans! Next time you hear from me, we'll have less news-ing and more philosophizing (and maybe some making fun of Super Mario Land).
~Waluigious: There's also about 37 music games on the way, but still no sign of the highly-demanded sequel to Mario Paint.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The One About Books
Note: I am well aware that yesterday was quite a big release day for Nintendo fans, at least in America. We got Kirby Super Star Ultra on the DS, Mega Man 9 on WiiWare and Wario Land: Shake It! on the Wii. However, two of them aren't really Mario-related and I won't get to play any of them until this weekend, after which I'll hopefully get to talk about Wario Land. I posted my thoughts on the release in general on my own "only have it because I needed a blogger account to post here" blog. However, I do feel obligated to say that not purchasing Kirby Super Star Ultra is a crime that is only pardonable if you own a functional SNES cart (and the SNES to go with it). Anyway, on with the completely unrelated show!
I don't understand how Prima has any sort of decent reputation in the realm of video game strategy guides. Back in the mid-late 90s, I had a habit of picking up strategy guides for games I owned, not because I needed help with them, but simply because I liked reading and I liked the games (once my family got Internet access, this habit met a swift end). During this period, I realized there was a hierarchy of strategy guides, and at the bottom was Prima. Screwing up facts, making up names where they don't feel like researching and generally being a dull read, Prima was distinctly lame even to my 10-year-old reading level. This was not made more evident than my first experience with a Prima guide, not a game-specific strategy guide, but a multi-game tip book.
The year was 1997. I was 8 years old and had about $100 in my N64 fund: the first console I was going to buy with my own money. I had logged a couple hours on Shadows of the Empire and Mario Kart at friends' houses, as well as witnessed some Super Mario 64. Needless to say, I was ridiculously hyped. At one of our school's "book fairs" I spotted a bright white book featuring a neon purple 64 with bright red colors (artistic liberties; before they actually came out with purple or red 64s). I immediately purchased it.
The guide devoted several pages to the first ten or so 64 games, most of which I had never played and had no interest in playing (in recent years, I have purchased and enjoyed Wave Race and Pilotwings, and would grab Killer Instinct if I found it for cheap enough). But it covered Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64 and Shadows of the Empire, so I was hooked. Of course, some of the info about these games was a little...strange.
Since this is a Mario blog, we'll just be covering the two Mario games, and give first honors to the launch title. To Prima's credit, they do sum up how to get EVERY star in the game (in 3-4 sentences apiece), as well as some basic strategy on Bowser combat, and remains pretty accurate throughout. What is a source of minor hilarity to me are their world names. In true Prima form, they couldn't be bothered to write down the names of the worlds, opting to conform to the "First English Release of SMB3" School of World-Naming. I.E. "Most-Obvious-Trait Land." What follows will be the world's actual name, Prima's extremely original renaming, and any witty comments by me where applicable.
Bob-omb Battlefield Bomb World
Whomp's Fortress Tower World
Jolly Roger Bay Water World
Cool Cool Mountain Snow World
(sensing a pattern yet?)
Big Boo's Haunt Ghost World
Hazy Maze Cave Cavern World
(I might have to give this one to Prima; the real version's assonance and pseudo-rhyming just sounds awkward).
Lethal Lava Land Fire World
Shifting Sand Land Desert World
Dire Dire Docks Submarine World
(already had a Water World...unoriginality is harder than it looks!)
Snowman's Land Snowman World
(note how with a simple synonym and eliminating the possessive, Prima replaces a mildly clever pun with a totally boring name)
Wet-Dry World Water Puzzle World
("Oh no! A THIRD water world?" cries the Prima writer in horror. "That does it, this time we'll TRY to be awkward!")
Tall Tall Mountain Mushroom World
(Another victory for Prima in my book. We've had tons of mountains already, and I'm pretty sure some are taller than this world. Let's call some attention to, you know, the series icon).
Tiny-Huge Island Green Pipe World
(Prima, I'm disappointed. Using an adjective? And green pipes are hardly the standout trait of this world. Somewhere, the guy who thought up "Pipe Land" is shaking his head at you.)
Tick Tock Clock Clockwork World
(Huh, the last four have alternatively been the worst and best names of the lot, IMO. They could've just gone Clock World, but adding the "work" makes it flow with "World" better and I ultimately prefer it to the real name. Though that could be because I didn't get to/find out this world's name for years.)
Rainbow Ride Magic Carpet World
(Nothing really to say. That wraps up the SM64 segment).
Mario Kart 64 seemed to have a different problem entirely. In retrospect, it appears the Prima gang got their hands on a Japanese copy of the game. I didn't put that together at the time, so you can imagine just how odd some of the below struck me.
First off, characters. In the screenshots, you can see Bowser is called "Koopa," Donkey Kong is abbrieviated "D. Kong" (unlike the "D.K." of the West) and Toad is called "Kinopio." What's more bizarre is they consistently call Toad Kinopio as if they've never played a Mario game outside Japan in their lives (or read the SM64 section of the same book). Was there no editing for consistency in the making of this guide?
The character profiles themselves fall under the assumption that MK64 is like just about every racer ever, with heavyweights having the best top speed and lightweights having the worst. Also, it seems like they did their playtesting in an item-filled Vs. match and the guy playing Wario won, because they've decided he has no stat below average. And apparently Yoshi's stats are identical to his, except he's easier to knock around because he's light. Weird...
Again, the course names are the real treat here, not due to lack of creativity this time, but because, as far as I can tell, they're the Japanese versions.
Luigi Raceway Luigi Circuit
(Considering MK64 is the only one that doesn't call them circuits, this makes sense).
Moo Moo Farm Moh Moh Farm
(Is it that hard to use a little logic and alter this to the accepted English word for cow noises?)
Koopa Troopa Beach Nokonoko Beach
(Obvious to most Mario fans: Nokonoko is what Koopa Troopas are called in the East.)
Kalimari Desert Kara Kara Desert
(I'm not sure what Kara Kara means, but this got me thinking: Kalimari Desert is a real desert. Considering all the deserts in the Mario universe, why didn't either version name this course after one of them?)
EDIT: That's what I get for working strictly from memory. The name of the real-world desert is Kalahari. Thanks, Mariosister!
Toad's Turnpike Kinopio Highway
(English version has alliteration. It's better.)
Choco Mountain and Frappe Snowland are the same.
Mario Raceway Mario Circuit
(Again, the Raceway vs. Circuit thing.)
Wario Stadium and Sherbet Land are the same.
Royal Raceway Peach Circuit
(Hmm...English has such a regal name, and alliteration, but Peach Circuit is consistent with...every other game in the series.)
Bowser's Castle is the same. Bowser seems to be the one exception to the "let's pretend we've always known this series by the Japanese names" pretense they're going under.
D.K. Jungle Parkway D.K. Jungle Park
(Parkway seems to make more sense for a racetrack, but no big difference).
Yoshi Valley Yoshi Canyon
(It does seem a lot more like a canyon than a valley.)
Banshee Boardwalk Ghost House
(Tough choice. Banshees have nothing to do with Mario at all, but Ghost House is painfully generic. I'd prefer Ghost Valley, since even Prima has done enough homework to note the resemblance between this track and the SNES ones).
Rainbow Road
(No name change, though the way Prima describes it had me thinking Super Mario Kart's Rainbow Road was the same exact track with no rails. More my fault than theirs, in this case).
What's my point here? I don't really know. I guess I just thought I'd share some old memories with you. Shoddy production values are good for a laugh, at least. Anyone have any of the old Pocket Power guides, for the 64 or other consoles?
~Waluigious: Did you hear there's a secret town somewhere beneath Water Puzzle World?
I don't understand how Prima has any sort of decent reputation in the realm of video game strategy guides. Back in the mid-late 90s, I had a habit of picking up strategy guides for games I owned, not because I needed help with them, but simply because I liked reading and I liked the games (once my family got Internet access, this habit met a swift end). During this period, I realized there was a hierarchy of strategy guides, and at the bottom was Prima. Screwing up facts, making up names where they don't feel like researching and generally being a dull read, Prima was distinctly lame even to my 10-year-old reading level. This was not made more evident than my first experience with a Prima guide, not a game-specific strategy guide, but a multi-game tip book.
The year was 1997. I was 8 years old and had about $100 in my N64 fund: the first console I was going to buy with my own money. I had logged a couple hours on Shadows of the Empire and Mario Kart at friends' houses, as well as witnessed some Super Mario 64. Needless to say, I was ridiculously hyped. At one of our school's "book fairs" I spotted a bright white book featuring a neon purple 64 with bright red colors (artistic liberties; before they actually came out with purple or red 64s). I immediately purchased it.
The guide devoted several pages to the first ten or so 64 games, most of which I had never played and had no interest in playing (in recent years, I have purchased and enjoyed Wave Race and Pilotwings, and would grab Killer Instinct if I found it for cheap enough). But it covered Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64 and Shadows of the Empire, so I was hooked. Of course, some of the info about these games was a little...strange.
Since this is a Mario blog, we'll just be covering the two Mario games, and give first honors to the launch title. To Prima's credit, they do sum up how to get EVERY star in the game (in 3-4 sentences apiece), as well as some basic strategy on Bowser combat, and remains pretty accurate throughout. What is a source of minor hilarity to me are their world names. In true Prima form, they couldn't be bothered to write down the names of the worlds, opting to conform to the "First English Release of SMB3" School of World-Naming. I.E. "Most-Obvious-Trait Land." What follows will be the world's actual name, Prima's extremely original renaming, and any witty comments by me where applicable.
Bob-omb Battlefield Bomb World
Whomp's Fortress Tower World
Jolly Roger Bay Water World
Cool Cool Mountain Snow World
(sensing a pattern yet?)
Big Boo's Haunt Ghost World
Hazy Maze Cave Cavern World
(I might have to give this one to Prima; the real version's assonance and pseudo-rhyming just sounds awkward).
Lethal Lava Land Fire World
Shifting Sand Land Desert World
Dire Dire Docks Submarine World
(already had a Water World...unoriginality is harder than it looks!)
Snowman's Land Snowman World
(note how with a simple synonym and eliminating the possessive, Prima replaces a mildly clever pun with a totally boring name)
Wet-Dry World Water Puzzle World
("Oh no! A THIRD water world?" cries the Prima writer in horror. "That does it, this time we'll TRY to be awkward!")
Tall Tall Mountain Mushroom World
(Another victory for Prima in my book. We've had tons of mountains already, and I'm pretty sure some are taller than this world. Let's call some attention to, you know, the series icon).
Tiny-Huge Island Green Pipe World
(Prima, I'm disappointed. Using an adjective? And green pipes are hardly the standout trait of this world. Somewhere, the guy who thought up "Pipe Land" is shaking his head at you.)
Tick Tock Clock Clockwork World
(Huh, the last four have alternatively been the worst and best names of the lot, IMO. They could've just gone Clock World, but adding the "work" makes it flow with "World" better and I ultimately prefer it to the real name. Though that could be because I didn't get to/find out this world's name for years.)
Rainbow Ride Magic Carpet World
(Nothing really to say. That wraps up the SM64 segment).
Mario Kart 64 seemed to have a different problem entirely. In retrospect, it appears the Prima gang got their hands on a Japanese copy of the game. I didn't put that together at the time, so you can imagine just how odd some of the below struck me.
First off, characters. In the screenshots, you can see Bowser is called "Koopa," Donkey Kong is abbrieviated "D. Kong" (unlike the "D.K." of the West) and Toad is called "Kinopio." What's more bizarre is they consistently call Toad Kinopio as if they've never played a Mario game outside Japan in their lives (or read the SM64 section of the same book). Was there no editing for consistency in the making of this guide?
The character profiles themselves fall under the assumption that MK64 is like just about every racer ever, with heavyweights having the best top speed and lightweights having the worst. Also, it seems like they did their playtesting in an item-filled Vs. match and the guy playing Wario won, because they've decided he has no stat below average. And apparently Yoshi's stats are identical to his, except he's easier to knock around because he's light. Weird...
Again, the course names are the real treat here, not due to lack of creativity this time, but because, as far as I can tell, they're the Japanese versions.
Luigi Raceway Luigi Circuit
(Considering MK64 is the only one that doesn't call them circuits, this makes sense).
Moo Moo Farm Moh Moh Farm
(Is it that hard to use a little logic and alter this to the accepted English word for cow noises?)
Koopa Troopa Beach Nokonoko Beach
(Obvious to most Mario fans: Nokonoko is what Koopa Troopas are called in the East.)
Kalimari Desert Kara Kara Desert
(I'm not sure what Kara Kara means, but this got me thinking: Kalimari Desert is a real desert. Considering all the deserts in the Mario universe, why didn't either version name this course after one of them?)
EDIT: That's what I get for working strictly from memory. The name of the real-world desert is Kalahari. Thanks, Mariosister!
Toad's Turnpike Kinopio Highway
(English version has alliteration. It's better.)
Choco Mountain and Frappe Snowland are the same.
Mario Raceway Mario Circuit
(Again, the Raceway vs. Circuit thing.)
Wario Stadium and Sherbet Land are the same.
Royal Raceway Peach Circuit
(Hmm...English has such a regal name, and alliteration, but Peach Circuit is consistent with...every other game in the series.)
Bowser's Castle is the same. Bowser seems to be the one exception to the "let's pretend we've always known this series by the Japanese names" pretense they're going under.
D.K. Jungle Parkway D.K. Jungle Park
(Parkway seems to make more sense for a racetrack, but no big difference).
Yoshi Valley Yoshi Canyon
(It does seem a lot more like a canyon than a valley.)
Banshee Boardwalk Ghost House
(Tough choice. Banshees have nothing to do with Mario at all, but Ghost House is painfully generic. I'd prefer Ghost Valley, since even Prima has done enough homework to note the resemblance between this track and the SNES ones).
Rainbow Road
(No name change, though the way Prima describes it had me thinking Super Mario Kart's Rainbow Road was the same exact track with no rails. More my fault than theirs, in this case).
What's my point here? I don't really know. I guess I just thought I'd share some old memories with you. Shoddy production values are good for a laugh, at least. Anyone have any of the old Pocket Power guides, for the 64 or other consoles?
~Waluigious: Did you hear there's a secret town somewhere beneath Water Puzzle World?
Monday, September 15, 2008
The One Where Mario Kart 64 is Broken and a Better Game For It
Mario Kart 64 is a broken product, and therefore more fun than its DS and Wii sequels. Aside from Double Dash (I’m not typing in 2 exclamation points every time I type that title), I haven’t seen any game in the Kart series get as much flack as 64. Today, it’s allegedly aged poorly. Back in its time, it was supposedly a disappointment after Super Mario Kart. Well haters, you’re all wrong. Mario Kart 64 is the greatest entry the series ever saw…largely because of mechanics I don’t think the programmers intended.
The go-to reason for MK64’s supposed mediocrity is the item imbalance. This is, honestly, hilarious. First off, the dreaded “blue shell” that is the bane of hardcore Kart fans is a perfectly decent (if powerful) item in its 64 and Super Circuit incarnations. You’re in 7th place, you fire it, it has a fair shot of taking out 2nd-6th, and definitely takes out 1st, so ideally you gain ground overall. It’s the winged Spiny Shell that is simply a spiteful monkey wrench that doesn’t help the user at all: Blowing the crap out of 1st and maybe 2nd is just an “if I can’t win, you can’t win!” gesture and doesn’t get the 7th place user any closer to 3rd, who now takes the lead. Besides, point me to a Mario game where Spinies had wings, I challenge you!
Then there are red shells. In 64, if an opponent is crushing you so badly that they’re out of your line of sight, that red shell is gonna veer depressingly into the nearest wall: thus rewarding the skilled racer for getting so far ahead. In DS and Wii, red shells will dog you to no end, and in the former in particular, even dragging an item is unlikely to help you, as they often strike from angles.
Next we have lightning. From the days of Super Mario Kart, the lighting was pretty much the ultimate “help out the loser” weapon. But in DS, it truly takes on a “punish skill” form: The better your place, the longer you’re affected! So not only does the 8th place fellow who used it move up in the ranks, but the overall last-to-first gap is closed through no skill on anyone’s part!
Finally, the Bullet Bill. How DS got its critic-proof reputation after introducing this item is completely baffling to me. We already have the Starman, which gives you a speed boost, invincibility and the ability to drive on any terrain. But actually having to point your kart in the right direction is hard work, so let’s have an item do that for you. Not to mention it covers far more ground than the Starman ever did.
Next, a quick note on graphics. Yes, yes, mock the 64 game that uses pre-rendered sprites for its characters. Well you know what? At least my favorite Kart actually has shells that give an illusion of depth, unlike the cardboard cutouts you toss at each other in DS. And back in a time when daily hospitalizations occurred due to skewered eyes on jagged 3-D models, the rounded character sprites of Kart 64 were quite the relief. And the first time you booted up that character select screen to see all those smoothly-rendered characters blinking and nodding, you were drooling. Admit it. Okay, so the look of the characters has aged kinda badly, but it’s really not that much worse than the blocky 3-D models of the time (or the DS). It’s really more of a style preference.
Thus far, I’ve argued that 64 is more fair and balanced than its successors. So where does the “broken” claim come in? Well, 64 is one of those lucky accidents that just happens to be royally screwed up in the perfect places. But first, since I’m a fair guy, a not-so-perfect mechanic: In Kart 64, the lightweight class has the best acceleration, off-road skills (like most Kart, and indeed most racing, games) and highest top speed (most definitely not normal). The manual even says so, and it’s an easy test if you don’t believe me. My defense: With items, this simply doesn’t matter much in Vs. or Grand Prix, and even less in Battle. And is being limited to three of eight characters for competitive time trials really so bad next to the game that limits you to two of 36 karts?
But now we’ve got the messy stuff out of the way, and it’s on to what truly makes MK64 great. First: Turbo Mode. Despite the caps, I would wager this is an unintentional glitch that occurs when playing 3-4 player Vs. or Battle. Basically, on Moo Moo Farm, Banshee Boardwalk, Bowser’s Castle, DK Jungle Parkway or Battle Mode’s Skyscraper, the game will often play at insane speeds. When you’re chilling out with a group of friends after a stressful week, nothing quite beats 4 of you shell-jousting over Skyscraper’s center pit at absurd speeds.
Then we’ve got shortcuts. Not this “obviously, if you have a mushroom, use it here” stuff, though there is plenty of that as well. I’m talking “power-slide into a jump to cut off the U-Turn in Yoshi Valley” or “make an insanely huge jump off the starting line in Rainbow Road to cut out a third of the lap” or “jump just about any wall you can find” in Wario Stadium. I just try to put myself in the 8-year-old mentality while playing the newer Mario Karts, and imagine the giddiness I would feel if you were actually allowed to partake in MK64’s brand of shortcutting.
On the flip side, you can truly screw opponents over in 64. Does anything feel more deliciously satisfying than holding onto a thunderbolt for an entire lap just so you can unleash it as your friend tries to cross Wario Stadium’s giant gap? How about knocking foes into the “Bat Box” in Banshee Boardwalk? And Toad’s Turnpike on Mirror Mode…it’s an exercise in masochism that no future game has even considered replicating. Stupidly broken? Perhaps, but it’s so much FUN.
And the Battle Mode deserves mention in itself. Simply put, MK64’s battle arenas are perfection. Big Donut and Double Deck offer spacious chases. Block Fort, with narrow corridors, multiple layers and conveniently-colored segments ideal for screen-peeking (which the manual ENCOURAGED you to do. Just another example of fun taking precedence over fair), is Kart legend, which Double Dash foolishly attempted to alter (lol, Block City) and DS had to copy to bolster its own lineup. And good ol’ SkyScraper…aside from the speed glitch, you’ve got a circular gap that can be jumped at any point, the center hole and conveniently numbered spawn points so you can camp when anyone falls off (“Hey Dan, sucks that you fell. What controller are you?” “2.” “Get ready to bomb him, guys!”). Plus, it has Mini-Bomb Karts: giving the eliminated players a chance to spitefully tip the odds toward the player that didn’t kill them. Or really do whatever they want, until one of the remaining players pulverizes them with a star. Who wants mandatory team battles when you have potential for shaky alliances like this?
Mario Kart 64 is an act of serendipity. Genuine greatness (track design, item balance, music) combines with random glitches and rather startling oversights, and by luck of the draw, the game ends up being an utter delight to play and (in my experience) the biggest reason that the 64 is as common as a 360 or Wii around my college campus. Yes, you can put on your snob glasses and tear apart its flaws, but when you sit down and actually play the game, who thinks like that? MK64 is among the greatest multiplayer experiences…ever. Sure, its single-player is lacking, but if you’re playing any Mario Kart (other than the original, I suppose) for single-player, let me recommend you some Diddy Kong Racing.
~Waluigious: It's also the only game where you'll hear Mario exclaim "Versus??!!" as if you'd just volunteered for front-line combat.
The go-to reason for MK64’s supposed mediocrity is the item imbalance. This is, honestly, hilarious. First off, the dreaded “blue shell” that is the bane of hardcore Kart fans is a perfectly decent (if powerful) item in its 64 and Super Circuit incarnations. You’re in 7th place, you fire it, it has a fair shot of taking out 2nd-6th, and definitely takes out 1st, so ideally you gain ground overall. It’s the winged Spiny Shell that is simply a spiteful monkey wrench that doesn’t help the user at all: Blowing the crap out of 1st and maybe 2nd is just an “if I can’t win, you can’t win!” gesture and doesn’t get the 7th place user any closer to 3rd, who now takes the lead. Besides, point me to a Mario game where Spinies had wings, I challenge you!
Then there are red shells. In 64, if an opponent is crushing you so badly that they’re out of your line of sight, that red shell is gonna veer depressingly into the nearest wall: thus rewarding the skilled racer for getting so far ahead. In DS and Wii, red shells will dog you to no end, and in the former in particular, even dragging an item is unlikely to help you, as they often strike from angles.
Next we have lightning. From the days of Super Mario Kart, the lighting was pretty much the ultimate “help out the loser” weapon. But in DS, it truly takes on a “punish skill” form: The better your place, the longer you’re affected! So not only does the 8th place fellow who used it move up in the ranks, but the overall last-to-first gap is closed through no skill on anyone’s part!
Finally, the Bullet Bill. How DS got its critic-proof reputation after introducing this item is completely baffling to me. We already have the Starman, which gives you a speed boost, invincibility and the ability to drive on any terrain. But actually having to point your kart in the right direction is hard work, so let’s have an item do that for you. Not to mention it covers far more ground than the Starman ever did.
Next, a quick note on graphics. Yes, yes, mock the 64 game that uses pre-rendered sprites for its characters. Well you know what? At least my favorite Kart actually has shells that give an illusion of depth, unlike the cardboard cutouts you toss at each other in DS. And back in a time when daily hospitalizations occurred due to skewered eyes on jagged 3-D models, the rounded character sprites of Kart 64 were quite the relief. And the first time you booted up that character select screen to see all those smoothly-rendered characters blinking and nodding, you were drooling. Admit it. Okay, so the look of the characters has aged kinda badly, but it’s really not that much worse than the blocky 3-D models of the time (or the DS). It’s really more of a style preference.
Thus far, I’ve argued that 64 is more fair and balanced than its successors. So where does the “broken” claim come in? Well, 64 is one of those lucky accidents that just happens to be royally screwed up in the perfect places. But first, since I’m a fair guy, a not-so-perfect mechanic: In Kart 64, the lightweight class has the best acceleration, off-road skills (like most Kart, and indeed most racing, games) and highest top speed (most definitely not normal). The manual even says so, and it’s an easy test if you don’t believe me. My defense: With items, this simply doesn’t matter much in Vs. or Grand Prix, and even less in Battle. And is being limited to three of eight characters for competitive time trials really so bad next to the game that limits you to two of 36 karts?
But now we’ve got the messy stuff out of the way, and it’s on to what truly makes MK64 great. First: Turbo Mode. Despite the caps, I would wager this is an unintentional glitch that occurs when playing 3-4 player Vs. or Battle. Basically, on Moo Moo Farm, Banshee Boardwalk, Bowser’s Castle, DK Jungle Parkway or Battle Mode’s Skyscraper, the game will often play at insane speeds. When you’re chilling out with a group of friends after a stressful week, nothing quite beats 4 of you shell-jousting over Skyscraper’s center pit at absurd speeds.
Then we’ve got shortcuts. Not this “obviously, if you have a mushroom, use it here” stuff, though there is plenty of that as well. I’m talking “power-slide into a jump to cut off the U-Turn in Yoshi Valley” or “make an insanely huge jump off the starting line in Rainbow Road to cut out a third of the lap” or “jump just about any wall you can find” in Wario Stadium. I just try to put myself in the 8-year-old mentality while playing the newer Mario Karts, and imagine the giddiness I would feel if you were actually allowed to partake in MK64’s brand of shortcutting.
On the flip side, you can truly screw opponents over in 64. Does anything feel more deliciously satisfying than holding onto a thunderbolt for an entire lap just so you can unleash it as your friend tries to cross Wario Stadium’s giant gap? How about knocking foes into the “Bat Box” in Banshee Boardwalk? And Toad’s Turnpike on Mirror Mode…it’s an exercise in masochism that no future game has even considered replicating. Stupidly broken? Perhaps, but it’s so much FUN.
And the Battle Mode deserves mention in itself. Simply put, MK64’s battle arenas are perfection. Big Donut and Double Deck offer spacious chases. Block Fort, with narrow corridors, multiple layers and conveniently-colored segments ideal for screen-peeking (which the manual ENCOURAGED you to do. Just another example of fun taking precedence over fair), is Kart legend, which Double Dash foolishly attempted to alter (lol, Block City) and DS had to copy to bolster its own lineup. And good ol’ SkyScraper…aside from the speed glitch, you’ve got a circular gap that can be jumped at any point, the center hole and conveniently numbered spawn points so you can camp when anyone falls off (“Hey Dan, sucks that you fell. What controller are you?” “2.” “Get ready to bomb him, guys!”). Plus, it has Mini-Bomb Karts: giving the eliminated players a chance to spitefully tip the odds toward the player that didn’t kill them. Or really do whatever they want, until one of the remaining players pulverizes them with a star. Who wants mandatory team battles when you have potential for shaky alliances like this?
Mario Kart 64 is an act of serendipity. Genuine greatness (track design, item balance, music) combines with random glitches and rather startling oversights, and by luck of the draw, the game ends up being an utter delight to play and (in my experience) the biggest reason that the 64 is as common as a 360 or Wii around my college campus. Yes, you can put on your snob glasses and tear apart its flaws, but when you sit down and actually play the game, who thinks like that? MK64 is among the greatest multiplayer experiences…ever. Sure, its single-player is lacking, but if you’re playing any Mario Kart (other than the original, I suppose) for single-player, let me recommend you some Diddy Kong Racing.
~Waluigious: It's also the only game where you'll hear Mario exclaim "Versus??!!" as if you'd just volunteered for front-line combat.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Waluigious Investigation: The Time Is 3/4
Welcome to yet another issue of Waluigious Investigation! Today, we delve into the issue of 3/4 (or 6/8) music in select Mario games.
We don't live in classical ages any more, where everyone wore powdered wigs and tailed coats and spoke in iambic pentameter, which may be one of the reasons why our contemporary music, including video game soundtracks, is predominantly not in 3/4 time. However, this measure is kept in some instances to add to the mood, in case of Mario games mostly a calm one.
The first recorded occurrence of a 3/4 time piece in Mario software history is, as is rather well known, SMB's Underwater theme. (While indeed a classical tune was used before that in the Mario Bros. arcade, it was not in that measure.) The famous sub-aquatic song was remade and remixed almost as much as the all-transcending Main Theme itself, the most known examples being the SMB2 title music that spawned a tradition of remixing it for all Mario later-console ports, and the inclusion of it in the SSBM Rainbow Ride orchestrated version. In most cases, the theme is soothing and flowing like the water it was initially designed for, but in the pompous bloated-up philharmonic adaptations, it could very well be a ballroom dance for the likes of Count Blumiere.
SMB3 skipped on that meter entirely, preferring more upbeat beats for its audio. Its Dinosaur Land sequel borrowed the idea of 3/4 water music from SMB and remixed its all-purpose theme into that measure, creating something very catchy and a little bit annoying in the long run, especially for new players who have to replay Forest of Illusion 2 around 10 times to get to the end. Yoshi's Island, however, took the courage and pioneered in making a sinister 3/4 tune - the castle theme. Unlike previous attempts, this song actually conveyed evil with its slow, but menacing rising melody in crescendo. A shame that the game's unholy Artoon sequel had a fortress theme that was not only a crime against music, but against soundwaves in general. The carousel-like Bonus Game theme was probably what inspired...
...the Big Boo's Haunt Scary-Go-Round in Super Mario 64. While being quite jolly at first, the melody would slowly drive one insane when listening to it. Give this piano version a listen:
Another 3/4 tune in that game is the Piranha Plant's Lullaby, which uses the calming potential of the measure to its fullest.
Super Mario Sunshine didn't really try to be original and used the 3/4 time in the same two ways it was already established - for the Pinna Park merry-go-round and the Noki Bay underwater area, although the erratic harp there obscures the measure enough. And Super Mario Galaxy gave Rosalina her own 3/4 theme that recurred throughout the game whenever a situation or place has to do with her, as well as made use for it in the calm Space Junk Galaxy, the eerie Boo-infested areas like the Ghostly Galaxy, and, surprisingly, such a strongly dramatic area as the fiery Melty Molten Galaxy.
The console RPG games, as another area to inspect, used it more often - Mallow's sad song from Super Mario RPG was the first, utilizing the beat-down characteristic of the measure to underline the disappointed and forlorn mood. Two close areas, Marrymore and Star Hill, followed, one being celebrational, the other very mystical, both rooted in the properties of the classical music the 3/4 originates from. The Sunken Ship gives an interesting twist to the idea of underwater music being 3/4 - the atmosphere is gloomy and evil instead of calm, but it still works.
Paper Mario took the idea of 3/4 being associated with Boos from Super Mario 64 and composed Forever Forest and Boo Mansion accordingly - which in turn may have spawned the same for Ghostly Galaxy in SMG. Besides that, Peach's theme is waltzy to represent her softness, and the Flower Fields after the destruction of the Puff Puff Machine share that quality. An instance of 75% time (aren't you tired of reading the same number?) used for mysteriousness in the vein of YI's castle is the Crystal Palace, quiet but blood-chilling.
PM2 is being avant-garde again and using it in the least expected places, like the new item presentation interludes (also known as Toadette's theme) - and, while having no reason not to be in 4/4, it still works! Peach's theme is 3/4 as in the prequel, as is her waltz with... herself, and the calmness of the (Puni-less) Great Tree deserves this measure, too. Poshley Heights, being so pretentious and classy, gets this treatment as well.
The decision to make the main areas of Super Paper Mario, Flipside and Flopside, in a rather annoying 3/4 time only made many players hate these areas. The Tile Pool is a nice nod to the song that started it all on the NES, while Merlee's Mansion, as a drum-supported song of that type, exhibits a rather interesting quality of being both evil and slightly comical. And the Overthere is SUPPOSED to sound classy and fit the inhabitants' style of speech, but the repetititititiveness of the melody makes this less enjoyable than desired. The Wedding Waltz in the beginning and the credits form a nice 3/4 bracket around the game's musical layout, however.
So, what have we learned from this? First, water almost demands 3/4 measure. Second, mansions and Boos like it very much. Third, princess-type characters need it to accentuate their princessness. Fourth, if something is supposed to be very quiet and mysterious, leave a fourth away. And fifth, as PM2 has proven, you can do anything with it and it will sound good if you're creative enough, and as SPM has shown, you can't just do ANYTHING with it if you're NOT creative enough. And this concludes today's Waluigious Investigation!
~Waluigious: Now we need more 9/8 time songs.
We don't live in classical ages any more, where everyone wore powdered wigs and tailed coats and spoke in iambic pentameter, which may be one of the reasons why our contemporary music, including video game soundtracks, is predominantly not in 3/4 time. However, this measure is kept in some instances to add to the mood, in case of Mario games mostly a calm one.
The first recorded occurrence of a 3/4 time piece in Mario software history is, as is rather well known, SMB's Underwater theme. (While indeed a classical tune was used before that in the Mario Bros. arcade, it was not in that measure.) The famous sub-aquatic song was remade and remixed almost as much as the all-transcending Main Theme itself, the most known examples being the SMB2 title music that spawned a tradition of remixing it for all Mario later-console ports, and the inclusion of it in the SSBM Rainbow Ride orchestrated version. In most cases, the theme is soothing and flowing like the water it was initially designed for, but in the pompous bloated-up philharmonic adaptations, it could very well be a ballroom dance for the likes of Count Blumiere.
SMB3 skipped on that meter entirely, preferring more upbeat beats for its audio. Its Dinosaur Land sequel borrowed the idea of 3/4 water music from SMB and remixed its all-purpose theme into that measure, creating something very catchy and a little bit annoying in the long run, especially for new players who have to replay Forest of Illusion 2 around 10 times to get to the end. Yoshi's Island, however, took the courage and pioneered in making a sinister 3/4 tune - the castle theme. Unlike previous attempts, this song actually conveyed evil with its slow, but menacing rising melody in crescendo. A shame that the game's unholy Artoon sequel had a fortress theme that was not only a crime against music, but against soundwaves in general. The carousel-like Bonus Game theme was probably what inspired...
...the Big Boo's Haunt Scary-Go-Round in Super Mario 64. While being quite jolly at first, the melody would slowly drive one insane when listening to it. Give this piano version a listen:
Another 3/4 tune in that game is the Piranha Plant's Lullaby, which uses the calming potential of the measure to its fullest.
Super Mario Sunshine didn't really try to be original and used the 3/4 time in the same two ways it was already established - for the Pinna Park merry-go-round and the Noki Bay underwater area, although the erratic harp there obscures the measure enough. And Super Mario Galaxy gave Rosalina her own 3/4 theme that recurred throughout the game whenever a situation or place has to do with her, as well as made use for it in the calm Space Junk Galaxy, the eerie Boo-infested areas like the Ghostly Galaxy, and, surprisingly, such a strongly dramatic area as the fiery Melty Molten Galaxy.
The console RPG games, as another area to inspect, used it more often - Mallow's sad song from Super Mario RPG was the first, utilizing the beat-down characteristic of the measure to underline the disappointed and forlorn mood. Two close areas, Marrymore and Star Hill, followed, one being celebrational, the other very mystical, both rooted in the properties of the classical music the 3/4 originates from. The Sunken Ship gives an interesting twist to the idea of underwater music being 3/4 - the atmosphere is gloomy and evil instead of calm, but it still works.
Paper Mario took the idea of 3/4 being associated with Boos from Super Mario 64 and composed Forever Forest and Boo Mansion accordingly - which in turn may have spawned the same for Ghostly Galaxy in SMG. Besides that, Peach's theme is waltzy to represent her softness, and the Flower Fields after the destruction of the Puff Puff Machine share that quality. An instance of 75% time (aren't you tired of reading the same number?) used for mysteriousness in the vein of YI's castle is the Crystal Palace, quiet but blood-chilling.
PM2 is being avant-garde again and using it in the least expected places, like the new item presentation interludes (also known as Toadette's theme) - and, while having no reason not to be in 4/4, it still works! Peach's theme is 3/4 as in the prequel, as is her waltz with... herself, and the calmness of the (Puni-less) Great Tree deserves this measure, too. Poshley Heights, being so pretentious and classy, gets this treatment as well.
The decision to make the main areas of Super Paper Mario, Flipside and Flopside, in a rather annoying 3/4 time only made many players hate these areas. The Tile Pool is a nice nod to the song that started it all on the NES, while Merlee's Mansion, as a drum-supported song of that type, exhibits a rather interesting quality of being both evil and slightly comical. And the Overthere is SUPPOSED to sound classy and fit the inhabitants' style of speech, but the repetititititiveness of the melody makes this less enjoyable than desired. The Wedding Waltz in the beginning and the credits form a nice 3/4 bracket around the game's musical layout, however.
So, what have we learned from this? First, water almost demands 3/4 measure. Second, mansions and Boos like it very much. Third, princess-type characters need it to accentuate their princessness. Fourth, if something is supposed to be very quiet and mysterious, leave a fourth away. And fifth, as PM2 has proven, you can do anything with it and it will sound good if you're creative enough, and as SPM has shown, you can't just do ANYTHING with it if you're NOT creative enough. And this concludes today's Waluigious Investigation!
~Waluigious: Now we need more 9/8 time songs.
Music of the Week, Vol. 8
And it's-a time for the Music of the (in retrospective, quite irregular) Week to try holding up to a schedule again! However, this time it's more likely to happen, since we here at Waluigious wouldn't really like wasting those 2.74 cents per day we're paying for the domain now. Also, a new weekly feature gets introduced within.
Reminder and instructions: (skip if you already know)
In the right column, under the links, you will find a player with five songs. Choose one of them and click the Play button to listen to that week's wondrous tracks! Beneath the player is a link to the corresponding post containing the download links plus their descriptions.
Please note that the downloads of previous weeks are no longer available - so be sure to check back every week if you are interested.
The Music of the Week from 14. to 20. of September is...
~Under the Ice (Mario Pinball Land)
Though this hardly-controllable game that advertised itself with Mario rapping mostly has music of the repetitive and corny-aftertaste style not unlike some licensed edutainment software, this one is a real breather of fresh air - ironic, because it plays underwater. When Mario the Ball (and Yoshi the Dino and Dr. Koopotnik and Peachy Rose and NOOOO!) slips down an ice crack into a small lake below, this soothing music accompanies the player frustratedly trying to bounce him just right to open all treasure chests.
~Main Theme (Wrecking Crew '98)
It might quite well be the most needlessly complicated Mario puzzle game ever conceived of by man - what with the different panel effects and matches that last longer than a game of Quidditch when the Snitch has got a Repel Cape applied to it. This theme might not seem annoying at first, but after over 9000 iterations, you would mildly disagree with such a statement.
~Staff Roll (Mario & Wario)
Mario and Wario is a simple game. Most aspects of it can be described in one word, actually. Premise: bucket. Hero: fairy. Control: mouse. Gameplay: trite. Graphics: few. Music: same. It is extremely difficult to tell the pieces apart because all seem to be aerophonic with as little variation was humanly possible for the sound designer. Oh, what do I hear in the credits? Could that be THE SAME INSTRUMENTS AS EVERYWHERE ELSE?
~Go Mario Go (Egyptian Rave Mix)
Everyone knows Go Mario Go, and if you don't, Go Educate Yourself Go. From the Ambassadors' of Funk later single comes this strange mix. Feedback needed from all Egyptians who might read this: do all your songs sound like this?
~Title (Super Mario Advance 2)
A nice gesture from the else incredibly lazy remakers of old Mario games for the GBA was to at least remix the legendary SMB water theme to fit the style of Super Mario All-Stars' game title screens. This one fits the mood of Super Mario World quite well, which it better should because it was one of approximately only 6 or 7 things the designers actually had to do themselves and not rip right out of the SNES cartridge.
This week's Picture of the Week is a picture of Bowser from the intro of Yakuman DS, an obscure Japanese-only Mahjong game that has Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad backed up by various other characters lay out dangerous pieces against Bowser and the Wario Bros. Sounds like serious biznus there!
A new feature from now on is the Video of the Week - a tiny video in the toolbar you can watch in glorious eye-strain-o-vision between browsing two articles. This time, it's the music video of "Find the Top", a great rap (if a bit too strong in its word choice) by one of the contributors of Heavy Troopa is Ready to Launch. Hear Booster sing half-gibberish about Mario invading his tower!
Return next week for more music from the dustiest and most forgotten corners of the Mario universe!
~Waluigious: Yeah, whatever, it's misleading.
Reminder and instructions: (skip if you already know)
In the right column, under the links, you will find a player with five songs. Choose one of them and click the Play button to listen to that week's wondrous tracks! Beneath the player is a link to the corresponding post containing the download links plus their descriptions.
Please note that the downloads of previous weeks are no longer available - so be sure to check back every week if you are interested.
The Music of the Week from 14. to 20. of September is...
~Under the Ice (Mario Pinball Land)
Though this hardly-controllable game that advertised itself with Mario rapping mostly has music of the repetitive and corny-aftertaste style not unlike some licensed edutainment software, this one is a real breather of fresh air - ironic, because it plays underwater. When Mario the Ball (and Yoshi the Dino and Dr. Koopotnik and Peachy Rose and NOOOO!) slips down an ice crack into a small lake below, this soothing music accompanies the player frustratedly trying to bounce him just right to open all treasure chests.
~Main Theme (Wrecking Crew '98)
It might quite well be the most needlessly complicated Mario puzzle game ever conceived of by man - what with the different panel effects and matches that last longer than a game of Quidditch when the Snitch has got a Repel Cape applied to it. This theme might not seem annoying at first, but after over 9000 iterations, you would mildly disagree with such a statement.
~Staff Roll (Mario & Wario)
Mario and Wario is a simple game. Most aspects of it can be described in one word, actually. Premise: bucket. Hero: fairy. Control: mouse. Gameplay: trite. Graphics: few. Music: same. It is extremely difficult to tell the pieces apart because all seem to be aerophonic with as little variation was humanly possible for the sound designer. Oh, what do I hear in the credits? Could that be THE SAME INSTRUMENTS AS EVERYWHERE ELSE?
~Go Mario Go (Egyptian Rave Mix)
Everyone knows Go Mario Go, and if you don't, Go Educate Yourself Go. From the Ambassadors' of Funk later single comes this strange mix. Feedback needed from all Egyptians who might read this: do all your songs sound like this?
~Title (Super Mario Advance 2)
A nice gesture from the else incredibly lazy remakers of old Mario games for the GBA was to at least remix the legendary SMB water theme to fit the style of Super Mario All-Stars' game title screens. This one fits the mood of Super Mario World quite well, which it better should because it was one of approximately only 6 or 7 things the designers actually had to do themselves and not rip right out of the SNES cartridge.
This week's Picture of the Week is a picture of Bowser from the intro of Yakuman DS, an obscure Japanese-only Mahjong game that has Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad backed up by various other characters lay out dangerous pieces against Bowser and the Wario Bros. Sounds like serious biznus there!
A new feature from now on is the Video of the Week - a tiny video in the toolbar you can watch in glorious eye-strain-o-vision between browsing two articles. This time, it's the music video of "Find the Top", a great rap (if a bit too strong in its word choice) by one of the contributors of Heavy Troopa is Ready to Launch. Hear Booster sing half-gibberish about Mario invading his tower!
Return next week for more music from the dustiest and most forgotten corners of the Mario universe!
~Waluigious: Yeah, whatever, it's misleading.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
In Which I Present A Manual Art Quiz
Remember the Official Art Quiz from the glorious year of 2007? If you found it too easy, the following may appeal to you - and even if not, you can surely still get some of these right. Are you ready for 12 little Mario manual cutouts to guess the game of? Click the picture to enlarge and get your brainious abilities working!
Some of these pictures only appeared in manuals of select country zones, but a real Mario fan can use his knowledge of the game's period's art style and a subtle sense of context to deduce all of these.
These are the solutions (highlight to view):
1. Super Mario Bros.
2. Super Mario 64
3. Super Mario World
4. Tetris Attack
5. Mario Kart Super Circuit
6. Super Mario Bros. 3
7. New Super Mario Bros.
8. Super Mario Kart
9. Super Mario Bros. 2
10. Dr. Mario
11. Yoshi's Island
12. Super Mario Land
How many did you get right? Some are really tough if you haven't seen the manual itself...
~Waluigious: Number 9 is, once again, the most difficult in my opinion.
Some of these pictures only appeared in manuals of select country zones, but a real Mario fan can use his knowledge of the game's period's art style and a subtle sense of context to deduce all of these.These are the solutions (highlight to view):
1. Super Mario Bros.
2. Super Mario 64
3. Super Mario World
4. Tetris Attack
5. Mario Kart Super Circuit
6. Super Mario Bros. 3
7. New Super Mario Bros.
8. Super Mario Kart
9. Super Mario Bros. 2
10. Dr. Mario
11. Yoshi's Island
12. Super Mario Land
How many did you get right? Some are really tough if you haven't seen the manual itself...
~Waluigious: Number 9 is, once again, the most difficult in my opinion.
In Which Dian Shi Ma Li
We've seen a lot of Mario-related failure at the hands of companies other than Nintendo who were bold enough to license him and try to live up to his real games. Kerog, Weegee and Judge Peach are all scary remnants of those colossal catastrophes. Yet there are deeper abysses - deeper even than the worst Intellivision port of the DK arcade. Yes, I speak of *dramatic thunder* pirated Mario games.
One of these is Dian Shi Ma Li Mario Lottery, a horrific bootleg game for the NES centered around a Mario wannabe called Fortran with sideways feet who makes you bet on various inane things and urges you to "push start to rich", which doesn't even work unless you substitute "start" for "A". Take a look for yourself:
The "game" starts with red-toothed Fortran showing us a demo of the new and innovative enrichment method found in this game: you get to hit a question block for coins! Then, you get to set your credits on the fields - D-pad up for bells, right for sevens, left for stars, down for watermelons, A for berries, B for tomatoes, Start for the oval green things, Select for the pink round things, second-player A for bars and second-player B to start the roulette. Alternately, the game begins when 180 credits are set. You win things according to the multipliers, and get random bonuses if Fortran hits a matching box, and from time to time, get to bet the bonuses themselves on cards, and... it would only interest anyone if the game was fun to play, which it isn't.
Perhaps the best parts are Fortran's flashing sprite when he hits the coin block (not funny if you have epilepsy) and the random sounds you can produce by just mashing on the buttons. For examples of this, check out this video:
You can download and try this misshapen piece of software here, among other things. What's your high score? Could you unlock something, like aLuigi Pascal mode? Do Fortran and his bleeding mouth/creepy eyes combo appear in your nightmares?
~Waluigious: Arrrrrrr.
One of these is Dian Shi Ma Li Mario Lottery, a horrific bootleg game for the NES centered around a Mario wannabe called Fortran with sideways feet who makes you bet on various inane things and urges you to "push start to rich", which doesn't even work unless you substitute "start" for "A". Take a look for yourself:
The "game" starts with red-toothed Fortran showing us a demo of the new and innovative enrichment method found in this game: you get to hit a question block for coins! Then, you get to set your credits on the fields - D-pad up for bells, right for sevens, left for stars, down for watermelons, A for berries, B for tomatoes, Start for the oval green things, Select for the pink round things, second-player A for bars and second-player B to start the roulette. Alternately, the game begins when 180 credits are set. You win things according to the multipliers, and get random bonuses if Fortran hits a matching box, and from time to time, get to bet the bonuses themselves on cards, and... it would only interest anyone if the game was fun to play, which it isn't.Perhaps the best parts are Fortran's flashing sprite when he hits the coin block (not funny if you have epilepsy) and the random sounds you can produce by just mashing on the buttons. For examples of this, check out this video:
You can download and try this misshapen piece of software here, among other things. What's your high score? Could you unlock something, like a
~Waluigious: Arrrrrrr.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
